i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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