Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
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i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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