kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We had to coat check the pizza.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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