Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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