No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
