I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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