Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
