Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
