3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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