omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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