I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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