Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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