He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They took my balls.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
