so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
