puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
