piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to make a zoo with you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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