i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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