Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
