Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am one with the molecules
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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