It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
