it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
