Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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