Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
