Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
