Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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