Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
