spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
