She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
