Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
