Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
