I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
