So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
