In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
