is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
