i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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