after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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