All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
