she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
