I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
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