apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
