chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time