That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.