: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive