I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs