Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty

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  (914): i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty http://tfl.nu/qv38
  Replies (17) Good night (1098) Bad night (2373)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  after a month anything with tits is on the radar

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  (832): after a month anything with tits is on the radar http://tfl.nu/wbqo
  Replies (12) Good night (855) Bad night (3560)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

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  (651): I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all. http://tfl.nu/rpqm
  Replies (9) Good night (4026) Bad night (1060)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

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  (305): Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend. http://tfl.nu/xxmf
  Replies (6) Good night (3940) Bad night (874)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.

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  (770): No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party. http://tfl.nu/c4s1
  Replies (9) Good night (3529) Bad night (664)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.

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  (215): There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am. http://tfl.nu/7bo4
  Replies (5) Good night (3181) Bad night (976)
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  (909): View more from California

  Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?

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  (909): Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked? http://tfl.nu/pmav
  Replies (7) Good night (2103) Bad night (1051)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me

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  (860): Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me http://tfl.nu/m9pd
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (609)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.

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  (810): Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down. http://tfl.nu/7v0j
  Replies (7) Good night (1869) Bad night (533)
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  (760): View more from California

  The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter

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  (760): The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter http://tfl.nu/uanv
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (508)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.

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  (518): It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic. http://tfl.nu/f2uk
  Replies (9) Good night (639) Bad night (1142)
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  (562): View more from California

  Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

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  (562): Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight. http://tfl.nu/c5kp
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (380)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar

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  (773): If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar http://tfl.nu/xi33
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (201)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

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  (541): Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/bqm2
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (233)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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  (315): i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters http://tfl.nu/mv30
  Replies (16) Good night (287) Bad night (832)

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