One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?