Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
