OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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