You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize