So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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