She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
