I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We're too hungover to prance.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
