I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
