I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"