id be glad to
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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