But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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