Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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