You're so nebulous sometimes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
