Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
