he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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