Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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