omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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