hotel room ftw
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
