its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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