I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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