Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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