I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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