Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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