perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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