I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
